32sedan
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Post by 32sedan on Nov 24, 2013 19:51:56 GMT
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large,
beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said 50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said: "Well I should tell you first, that this bird used to live in a house of...prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she wanted the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said "New house, new Madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird looked at them and said "New house, new Madam, new Girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Soon after, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said:
"Hi Keith..!!"
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Post by Bellysavallas on Dec 7, 2013 11:50:40 GMT
I used to keep racing Snails. I got right into it painting race numbers on the shells.. feeding the best lettuce to make them faster... Then I tried saving weight by removing the shells................But it just made them more sluggish!!!
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Post by Bellysavallas on Dec 8, 2013 12:15:46 GMT
Wow the altziemers society has just staged a march through Leeds. There was loads of them Chanting What do we want?............. We Don't Know When do we want it?......... What?
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32sedan
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Post by 32sedan on Jan 18, 2014 7:27:51 GMT
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,
... Walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.
"You can't come in here without a Thai"
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Russ D
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The 70's! It's the future.
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Post by Russ D on Jan 18, 2014 7:39:28 GMT
Oh dear! I m glad i stopped reading that at the second line!! :-)
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Starlyte
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Starting again after 30yrs
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Post by Starlyte on Jan 18, 2014 13:56:58 GMT
A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."
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Russ D
Full NHRC Member
Site Cleaner & General Baffoon.
The 70's! It's the future.
Posts: 2,235
Signature: The 70's is tha future!
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Post by Russ D on Jan 18, 2014 17:31:46 GMT
Global warming killed my snowman.
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32sedan
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Post by 32sedan on Jan 18, 2014 17:45:20 GMT
Never mind about silly jokes, get those mint pic's uploaded.
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Starlyte
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Starting again after 30yrs
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Post by Starlyte on Jan 18, 2014 19:33:49 GMT
Never mind about silly jokes, get those mint pic's uploaded. This one do
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32sedan
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Post by 32sedan on Jan 19, 2014 8:18:25 GMT
Ha Ha
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32sedan
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Signature: Stopping at a petrol station near you soon.
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Post by 32sedan on Jan 20, 2014 7:26:43 GMT
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away . The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000 .The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home .The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150? "The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead . I just can’t take that chance!"
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Russ D
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The 70's! It's the future.
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Post by Russ D on Jan 21, 2014 7:24:34 GMT
For sale 1 Remington beard trimmer no longer needed please enquire
R Cropper 15 coronation st Weartherfield No time wasters please
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Russ D
Full NHRC Member
Site Cleaner & General Baffoon.
The 70's! It's the future.
Posts: 2,235
Signature: The 70's is tha future!
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Post by Russ D on Jan 23, 2014 7:20:17 GMT
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Russ D
Full NHRC Member
Site Cleaner & General Baffoon.
The 70's! It's the future.
Posts: 2,235
Signature: The 70's is tha future!
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Post by Russ D on Jan 23, 2014 7:37:37 GMT
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Russ D
Full NHRC Member
Site Cleaner & General Baffoon.
The 70's! It's the future.
Posts: 2,235
Signature: The 70's is tha future!
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Post by Russ D on Jan 23, 2014 7:38:42 GMT
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